Shame then Glory

Nothing is wasted

In March 2015, I was listening to some tapes of Charles Finlay about revival and I began to feel an urge to put myself available for God. I was still working at the Law firm where I met Fermina but I knew that when the Lord calls you, he takes care of you.

He told us: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” Matt 6v33.


We eventually sold our second house in France I knew we were going to have some money in. I spoke to my pastor about leaving my job and putting myself available for God but he thought it was not a good idea.

I followed his advice…for one week only! Then I had a burden to do it so I spoke to my wife and explained that the Lord will take care of us if we first seek for his kingdom.

I handed my resignation letter to my Team Leader on 26th March 2015. I was in peace after doing this. I remember that for 2 or 3 weeks before resigning, I could not concentrate on my work anymore. I was constantly thinking about putting myself available for the work of the Lord.

The plan

I had to work during my notice period and I was going to be available on the 23rd April 2015. The plan was going to Israel for 8 days then in our return we would see how the Lord would lead us. I was so excited!

I did not know that the Lord was going to tell me to stop the Pentecostal experience while I was in Israel. So when we came back to Belfast after Israel we had no church to go.

My plan was not working the way I was thinking but the Lord was still in charge of our lives. One day as my wife and I were walking, I remembered that Sister Donia had moved in a new house. As we were not far from her new house we decided to call in to say hello.

I was so glad to see her. I told her that we don’t go to the Pentecostal church anymore and she told that she was not going anymore either. Sister was on a 40 days fasting seeking for breakthrough.

When I heard this I remembered that I had been trying to fast for 40 days at numerous occasions but I would give up after 1 or 2 days each time.

No breakthrough

I was fasting, praying, reading the scriptures seeking for a breakthrough but I was not getting it. We had some money to pay our expenses for 5 months then we would need to see the hand of the Lord.

I did not see any opened door to go to France to fulfill my calling. By mid September 2015, I was still hoping that the Lord would show something but the only thing we could hear was silence.

The end of the month was approaching and I had nothing to pay my rent. I was praying the Lord to open a door for us.

So ashamed!

3 or 4 days before the date to pay my rent. The Lord brought to my memory that my pastor in the Pentecostal church had told me to call him if I had a problem. Pride was telling to not call him and the the Spirit was telling this is the door I have opened for you.

I struggled for 2 days. I was walking back and forward in the garden. I was ashamed of calling him. Following the sale of our house in France we had made a large offering to the Lord and I did not want to come back to my pastor to ask a bit of this offering.

I had left the church since 5 months. I was so ashamed! I had this feeling of failure. I felt that I had not been able to keep my word.

After 2 days of struggle, I made up my mind and I called him. We were 2 days before the day to pay my rent. I could not reach him so I left a voicemail. He called me back the following day in the morning. He was in Scotland for a revival.

I breathed deeply and explained to him that I was calling because he had told me to call if I had an issue. I explained that I was unable to pay my rent and I was wondering if he could help. He told me how much do I need ? I said £2000 so I can pay my rent this month and the following month so I have the time to find a job.

He told me what about £12000? I was surprised!! I thought they had spent all this money. That was half of what we had given to the Lord. I accepted and sent my bank details to him. A few hours that day I had the funds on my bank account. I was able to pay my rent and the other expenses.

Back to work

It was clear in my mind that the Lord wanted me to go back to work. So I checked on the company I had left 5 months earlier. There was a full time position for the job I was doing but for week-end shifts.

I sent an email to my boss and he called me for an interview. He was happy to see me again. A few days after the interview he told me that I was not successful and someone else internal had got the job but he asked me if I was interested with a part-time role. I was indeed!

I came back to the same job on a part time basis on 19th October 2015. That was almost 6 months after telling everybody at work that I was going to preach the gospel. I was so ashamed!

Everybody was asking me what happened ?? I was trying to explain that it was not the time for me to go but this situation really humbled me. I was not comfortable at work at the beginning but then eventually after a few weeks. I was back in the right spirit.


I was working hard… very hard! Even if it was a part time, I would make myself available to work more if my boss needed. He was calling me quite often and I was always saying yes. I had a part-time contract but I was working almost full time with the overtime. Praise the Lord!

After 5 months, my team leader was successful to another role for 12 months and they were looking for someone to replace him. I had some experience in management when I was working in France but I was not sure I could do the same in English.

I was not seeing myself being my colleague’s team leader. However a voice in heart was telling me “Why don’t you try ? Why don’t you apply?”. I spoke to my wife, I prayed then I sent an email to my manager asking him if he was thinking I could do the job.

He wanted to have a chat with me and told me: “yes, you could do that. Just apply!”
So I did apply. I had a first interview and my boss told me I did very well. Then I had a second interview. My manager’s boss told me that someone else did as well as myself and they could not choose between me and this other person.

So they offer to me a 6 months contract as a team leader. I was so glad!! The Lord made it for me. I was looking for a door to go back to France but the Lord opened another door for me to go back to the company I had left and he promoted me after 6 months!

I agree with Isaiah he says from the Lord

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts
Isaiah 55 v 49


Keep this in mind

It’s good to plan things with the Lord for the Glory of His name. But he loves us so much that he wants to transform us so we are like Jesus. Humility, Patience and so on are things that the Lord wants to manifest in us. He will do what it takes to see us transformed. The most important is not what we do but how we are.

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